Giving someone, like your child, a name has some weight to it since they will generally have to live with it the entirety of their lives. You want it to sound good, work in combination with their last name (and probably middle as well), and possibly honor something of the family (favorite relatives, family traditions/requirements, heritage). Choosing poorly here can lead to years of teasing, while choosing well gets little appreciation. Choosing my son’s name took weeks of agonizing over possibilities and combinations. In the end, we chose which name was his at the last minute when we had to do so to leave the hospital. I think we chose well. It is not a too common name and it seems to fit him. He has not expressed any dislike for his name nor that he gets teased for it. And, no, he has not said, “Thanks for my name, Dad.”
Choosing a name for yourself is an entirely different process. I already have a name that I am accustomed to using and respond all too readily to it (even still). I did have one of the most common masculine names in the English language, which was both good and bad. There are a lot of guys out there with my name and if you’d call it out in a crowded room I can pretty much guarantee that a good percentage of the room would turn around and say, “Yes?” Going through school and in professional arenas I was always one of multiple men with that name. It was fine, though occasionally challenging. More often than not, there is usually another person with the same name and we laugh as we wish each other a good morning each day stressing our shared name.
I have an unusual opportunity to choose a completely new name. Since I have to go through the challenging and time consuming process of dealing with the government to change my name via the court system, I can change all of my names. Thankfully, I have my family’s love and support as I transition to being a woman and feel that my last name is still available to me and is an important part of me. Unfortunately, for many transgender individuals this is not always an option since their families frequently do not support them, some to the point of kicking them out of the house or family entirely. Many of these individuals leave their family names behind them. I am fortunate in that I do not feel that I need to do this.
So, I am not going to change all of the my names, but I am taking a new first and middle name. How do you choose a new name? It was hard enough to find one for someone else. This is not only something you will live with, but, at least for me, felt like it needed to fit who I am and want to be. Do you work from initials you want? Do you use family names, if they are available to you? Are there names that have always resonated for you? Going through lists of feminine names was tedious. I had a real strong sense of what I did not want and it was easier to eliminate options than to find ones that resonated for me.
I knew what my new first name would be, Colleen. This came to me a very long time ago and very easily. It is a modification of my male middle name, Colin. I took Colin and modified it to Colleen which has always resonated with me. Colleen, at least to me, speaks to my Celtic history since it is attributable to Irish. Colleen most frequently means “girl” which seemed appropriate on other levels as well.
Choosing my new middle name was much harder. I wanted to keep my initials, though modifying the order. So, my middle name needed to start with an “M.” I wanted to continue to honor my Irish, Scottish, and Welsh heritage, so it needed to have some Celtic/Gaelic connection or meaning. After many weeks and months of debate and looking through lists and lists of names, I narrowed it down to a few that I could then play with for a while. One name eventually stood out for me.
I have chosen to use Moira as my middle name. This name has a lot of Celtic usage (Anglicized version of the Irish Máire or Mary). It is also derived from the Greek Moirai, the three female incarnations of destiny or fate. Seemed fitting in a few ways.
So, long story to come up with my new name, Colleen Moira (last name here). I will start the process of legally changing my name next month and hope to have it completed by the new year. In the meantime, I need to get used to calling myself this and responding to it.
Finally Colleen 
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